Whilst watching some rubbish (he loves it I think it's rubbish) on tv last night of the moon my husband suddenly said 'its hard isn't it? Missing her all the time' and I think that's the first time since she died and since the immediate aftermath that he's actually verbally acknowledged that he misses her. And now I have heard him say those words I don't feel so alone in this, I know he's not a big emotional talker but to actually know that he still misses her that he finds it hard too gives me some kind of comfort.

In other news and which may have prompted the conversation Rhys has been poorly, he started with just a wheeze which turned into a cough which has turned into broncolitis (I cannot spell) he ended up in hospital on a nebuliser yesterday and they have changed his inhaler to something else. They are pretty sure also that he has asthma so I have to see the GP about that. He's fine apart from the fact the last few nights he hasn't slept, but when I got the call yesterday from my mum to say he was going to the hospital all I could think was omg he's going to die which prompted an emotional phonecall to my husband - I'm pretty sure that work think I'm nuts now!

Work is something I'm still struggling with but I'm trying to hold out a but longer - it's bloody hard work though