I go through these phases of being compelled to write down every last feeling to just wanting to take a step back from it all. Read others posts and kind of pretend this hasn't happened.
In my world not alot has happened since I was last here. Leaving work has perhaps been the biggest. I knew pretty much as soon as I started that it was too much too soon. So at my 8 week review I said I wanted to leave but agreed to stay on until they had found a replacement. In the end I could only stay a couple more weeks though. I was asked on thebthursday to make a phone call and the panic that rose from it led me to burst into tears, I then called in sick for a couple of days, but when I went to go back I ended up having a massive panic attack in the car on the way. The GP signed me off but I realised I just could go back again. Since I've left the stress has definately reduced, sometimes I just forget how difficult the simple things can be sometimes like getting up.
It's Mother's Day in the Uk today and I did come on here to say how I feel about it, but I just feel so sad that I can't find the words anymore. It's one of those days where the fact that B isn't here is obvious and heartbreaking for me to the point I want to just pretend its Mother's Day but I have to force myself to remember and appreciate I have a mum and so do Jess and Rhys. I have to put my smile on for them and cope through it. I hope if your in the uk you have a peaceful Mother's day
